Out with the old and in with the new

Greetings to all, and Happy New Year! Traditionally, the passing from one year into another has been a time for resolutions, a time for change. As such, I've decided to make a big change. This is (probably) the last post you'll see in this space. I've decided to move the blog to a new platform and give it a whole new look. All posts (except for this one) and comments have been imported to the new location, and while this "old" version isn't going anywhere, it probably won't be updated anymore.

The new blog can be found here, and the first new post goes live at 12:01am (Israel time) on January 1st, ringing in the New Year with a bang. Don't forget to update your blogrolls, bookmarks, and favorite links!

The funniest terrorist is a dead terrorist...

Tears of laughter came pouring down my face in torrents when I saw the clip below, performed by American stand-up comedian Jeff Dunham, so I just had to share. Try not to eat or drink while watching...

What will you be eating on Christmas Day?

I once told an Israeli friend of mine who relocated to the US about some of the Jewish traditions that I grew up with, and he later admitted to me that there was one he hadn't quite believed, until he saw it for himself.

So, what will you be eating on Christmas Day?

Why they really went to Annapolis...

I was very skeptical about last week's Annapolis conference. I didn't expect anything to come out of it, and I was rather dubious with regard to some of the participants (and clearly I had good reason to be, as Allison points out here).

In his severely weakened state, Ehud Olmert was forced by various members of his coalition to water down his declared goals until almost nothing was left. Dogged by scandal after scandal, his mandate going into the conference was shaky at best. On the Palestinian side, Mahmoud Abbas is clearly floundering, carrying barely half of a mandate in his pocket and maintaining a fairly solid record vis a vis his inability to contain terror or lead his people.

I, along with many of my countrymen, were simply not impressed, and nor were we very interested. We've heard far too many words, witnessed far too many committees. Frankly, when it came down to it, I couldn't understand the real reasons for holding this conference now, at a time when neither side seemed capable of delivering promises that could actually be kept. I was especially frustrated by Olmert, who hopped across the ocean to attend a useless conference, stopping only to meet with Jerry Seinfeld before grabbing his passport and jumping on a plane, leaving behind a crushing teachers' strike that threatens to render this academic year as being a complete loss. "Why", I thought. Why now? What could you all possibly gain by going to the US now?"

And then, with a blinding flash of intuition that only a shopaholic could understand, I knew. Peace shmeace. With Thanksgiving safely behind us and gift giving holidays on the horizon, there could only be one reason why our leaders were so anxious to be in the US at precisely this time...

Promises promises...

One of my favorite bloggers (not to mention one of my closest friends) has made me a promise. Lisa is a finalist in the "Best Non-Muslim Blog" category in the Brass Crescent Awards (which she won last year). The organizers write that "Past winner Lisa Goldman's posts about encounters with Palestinians, Lebanese, and other members of the Arab world "are always excellent," and frankly, I'm inclined to agree. Of course, I'm biased, especially given "the promise".

If Lisa wins, I get a smoked salmon sandwich, latte and dessert at Cafe Noach (only in Hebrew - sorry) in Tel Aviv. And, if you've tried their smoked salmon sandwiches, you'll understand how much I want Lisa to win! So, if you really love me and want me to eat well, or if you just think that Lisa happens to have a blog that is not only awesome, but also meets embodies the criteria for the category in which its been nominated, head on over to the web site for the Brass Crescent Awards and vote for Lisa. And, as long as you're already there, be sure to check out some of the other finalists in the other categories. Some of them are really excellent, and will soon be added to my blogroll.

Just say yes to smoked salmon! And, all kidding aside, I wouldn't be promoting her if I didn't believe that she truly deserves to win. I never cease to be amazed by her words, her efforts and her actions when it comes to bridge-building and reaching out to others, no matter how many obstacles are thrown in her way, no matter how many people try to provoke, discourage, or dismiss her. She always gets back up, dusts herself off, and jumps straight back in, and all because she's acting on what she believes in. The description for the "Best Non-Muslim Blog" category reads "Which blog writen by a non-Muslim is most respectful of Islam and seeks genuine dialogue with Muslims?", and in my opinion, nobody does it better than Lisa.

Plus, just thinking about those sandwiches...

"Ready, aim, sing!"*

As you've probably guessed by now, my sense of humor is often rather quirky and off-beat. I appreciate intelligent, wry commentary, and would be lying if I didn't say that one of my favorite pastimes is exchanging clever, witty banter with friends online, either via email or using any one of my growing collection of chat applications. The writer in me enjoys using words this way, and I find myself drawn to people who can keep up the pace. Words are both magical and powerful, and there are few things that attract my attention more than people who know how to use them well, especially if the words make me laugh and think, and allow for an ongoing exchange in the same vein.

I've had (and continue to have) friendships and relationships that began as a result of my admiration for an individual's writing skills, though obviously, the relationships, as they grew, were not solely based on this one trait. When it comes to entertainment, I tend to prefer high-brow stand-up comedy. Low-brow, lewd, sex jokes do not impress me, nor does the gratuitous use of swearing, for despite the fact that I can and do curse like a truck driver under certain circumstances, if you look carefully through this blog, you will find very few such words among my entries. It's not my style, and it's not the way that I choose to communicate while writing. As in my friendships, I gravitate towards performers who make me think as well as laugh, and if they can intelligently incorporate current events into the act, then so much the better. And because I'm sure that you're dying to know, yes, I do have a favorite. While not a stand-up comedian in the traditional sense, this individual's talent for side-splittingly humorous commentary is unparalleled.

Given my addiction to passion for current events and politics, it should come as no surprise to anyone that I would gravitate towards the material of the incredibly talented Tom Lehrer. His songs are timeless, and I sometimes find it rather shocking that lyrics he wrote in the early 1960s are just as relevant today as when they were originally written. I can't decide if that says more about his uncanny understanding of popular culture or the sadly predictable state of the world. I think I wore out my copy of "That Was the Year That Was", a live album released in 1965, and favorite tunes include "National Brotherhood Week" (a toe-tapping ditty about race relations), "MLF Lullaby" (a charming little tune about the Multilateral Forces), "Smut" ("I do have a cause, though. It is 'obscenity'. I'm for it...") and "Vatican Rag" (everything you wanted to know about Catholicism but were afraid to ask...). While I'm not going to link to all the songs on the album, if you're up for a laugh, I'd strongly recommend taking a glance at all of his lyrics, which can be found on this website. There are also clips for many of the songs on YouTube, which are definitely worth checking out.

As I mentioned above, many of his tunes are still relevant today, whether it be "So Long, Mom" (about a young soldier going off to fight in World War 3) or "Who's Next" (a song about the nuclear arms race). Check out the clip below for a spot-on assessment of American foreign policy.

(Lyrics for all Tom Lehrer songs can be found here.)



If you'd like to listen to "This Was the Year that Was" in full, some kind soul has been thoughtful enough to upload it to YouTube in sections:

Part One
Part Two
Part Three
Part Four
Part Five (contains only "Vatican Rag")

Disclaimer: Drinking liquids is not recommended while listening to Tom Lehrer. If you choose to do so, it is at your own risk. Your snarfing is not my responsibility.

*The title of this post is the last line of the Tom Lehrer song "Folk Song Army".

The Diplomatic Post - Where's my anonymous commenter?

To the well-spoken anonymous commenter who left the most recent anonymous comment regarding the "Diplomatic Post" magazine, please contact me offline ASAP using the email address I've given in the "Send me an email" link. My editor would very much like to publish your comment as a "Letter to the Editor" (as he indicated below your comment), but he cannot do so as long as you remain anonymous.

Toot toot toot - there goes my horn

On July 31st, those of you who acquired the print version of the Jerusalem Post may have received a copy of a brand new magazine – The Diplomatic Post. As a writer, I happen to think it's rather interesting when something new hits the newsstands, and indeed, I enjoy hearing about all of the wildly different publications that are out there, allowing me to muse over the various (and often unusual) target audiences, as well as the potential writing opportunities available.

Even more exciting than hearing about the birth of a new publication is actually taking an active role in the process, and no one was happier (not to mention more surprised) than I to receive a phone call in early May from the editor of a certain, yet-to-be-named-at-the-time magazine, several months after I'd sent in my initial writing sample (and promptly forgot having done so). One planning meeting later, and I suddenly found myself responsible for two monthly columns in the newly branded Diplomatic Post, both involving commentary on current events and political issues, which must come as a huge shock, given how infrequently I tackle such topics here...

Since becoming a writer for this mag, I've managed to get myself on all sorts of fascinating mailing lists, and have even started receiving telephone calls from local embassies asking to confirm my contact information. I've discovered that saying "my editor" takes the same amount of getting used to as saying "my husband", and I haven't decided whether or not I can actually call myself a journalist, or if I'm simply a writer, or maybe a columnist. I feel rather silly referring to myself as a journalist when spending time with my friends who really are journalists and have been for years, but on the other hand, it sounds infinitely more exciting than telling people that I'm a technical writer (though, in all honesty, most things do sound more exciting than that...). Telling people that I'm "a writer" allows them to think that I'm far more interesting than I actually am, and hey – we all want to be perceived as being interesting, don't we?

But I digress... The magazine. Unfortunately, The Diplomatic Post isn't available online at this point, though I'm hoping that will change so that I won't have to grab another six copies at the next editorial meeting (to be fair, only one is for us – one copy goes to my parents, another one goes to NRG, and three went to another friend on-staff who wasn't able to make the last meeting). The next edition should hit local newsstands on the 31st of August, and I can be found writing Headliners and the Page Before Last.

So all in all, it hasn't been a bad summer as far as freelance writing goes. I'm finally getting paid for my efforts, and the added pocket change (which is really all that it amounts to) from this gig and another gig have allowed me to upgrade to the 16-shekel grande-sized latte. Toot toot toot – there goes my horn again!

An open letter to the head of the Histadrut

Dear Mr Eini,

First of all, I would like to say that I can, perhaps, understand why you feel the need to launch a public sector strike. It is indeed unfortunate that workers in the public sector are once again getting screwed by the government, and while these strikes drastically affect the daily lives of all citizens, I understand your frustration, not to mention your desire to show the powers-that-be and those who fall under your responsibility that you mean business, and that you must take serious action. I don't have a problem with working from home should the Israel Railways Authority join the strike, and on occasion, even enjoy pecking away at my computer while sitting on my porch.

I would, however, be terribly grateful if you could postpone the strike for about a week or so, in order to ensure that the arrival of my new Harry Potter book, which should be shipped on Saturday from the UK, is not delayed due to workers striking at the airport and the post office.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Best regards,

Liza

Oh my God, it's been two whole years!

It all began two years ago today with this post, after my former blogging partner convinced me that I needed to start blogging again, following an approximately year-long hiatus brought on by my general inability to get my shit together multi-task on a grand level after the Little One was born. He even agreed to be my partner in crime, figuring that between the two of us, we would certainly be able to maintain a decent blogging schedule. We all know how that worked out. Despite our little "break-up", we've remained good friends, and he even helped me out with a minor blog emergency yesterday, when I suddenly realized that I needed to make an urgent change to yesterday's post but was nowhere near a computer. Two text messages and a phone call later, and I can safely say that my reputation has been preserved. It's amazing how the lack of a simple strike-through can send a writer into a tailspin...

Two years full of rants, politics, humor, and burn-out combined with more or less equal parts of cynicism, sarcasm and merriment (not to mention copious amounts of caffeine), and I'm astonished by how much this one little website has changed my life. It's given me many wonderful new friends, including several who I hope to meet face-to-face one day (and for those of you who feel left out, this is just a short list. Obviously, I'd love to meet most of you, and I didn't include those I knew before I began blogging, or those regular commenters who don't have their own blogs).

Not only has this blog provided me with some pretty amazing people in my life, but it has also been a platform for getting my writing noticed, something I have always wanted to do, but prior to blogging, was never quite sure how to go about it. This blog has been mentioned in a variety of publications and other websites, and excerpts have been reprinted in a variety of venues. I have been interviewed for different websites, and thanks to posts I've written about bringing the Little One into the world, I've been asked to share my experiences for a book that is currently being written. I'm often in awe of all the places where links to this blog have turned up, and am honored to be included in the blogrolls of several well-connected, well-respected bloggers. This blog has led to various writing gigs, and I'd be lying if I didn't say I was both proud of and pleased with what I've managed to create. I'm also proud of the community that has developed (for the most part) and the exchanges that have taken place in the comment sections, despite differences of opinion. Even some of my regular commenters have managed to connect with one another, as evidenced by a recent meeting in Oslo between nrg and Rami (I have photo proof), who was in the city for a conference last week.

It hasn't always been easy, and there have definitely been times when I've considered quitting, times when I've wondered what I'd gotten myself into. Then I take an overall look at what I've accomplished both personally and professionally, and I think of the joy I've taken in writing many of the posts (peruse the "Favorite Posts" section in the sidebar to see those entries of which I'm most proud), and I know that at this stage, quitting is just not an option. Besides, it seems that I've got a few incredibly supportive, amazing friends who can be even more stubborn than me (imagine that!), and they always push me to continue and cheer me on from the sidelines (thanks, guys! you're the best!). So yeah, if I had to lay a wager, I'd say that you're definitely going to be stuck with me for the time being, for better or for worse.

A Brief Display of Shameless Self-Promotion...

I've been busy busy busy these days, and it looks like I'm finally taking the freelance writing plunge, without actually giving up the dreary but lucrative technical writing.

First, check out the post I've uploaded to my newest play area - Israelity. Be sure to let the powers that be know what you think. Feel free to leave comments here and there. I'll be popping up there from time to time, and you can expect to see quite a few posts from me over there in the future.

Second, while I can't go into the finer details, I'm going to have two columns in a new monthly publication, which is being produced by one of Israel's daily newspapers. Once column involves political/current events commentary, while the other deals with domestic news and commentary. Pretty exciting stuff, if I do say so myself. And, if that weren't exciting enough, you'll never guess who the magazine's photographer is going to be...

Oh, and in case you haven't noticed the new links on my sidebar, I've joined both Facebook and MySpace, ostensibly for networking purposes, but I must admit, I've been enjoying the opportunity to find old friends as well. Serious time suck...

Wandering around the North

Since moving to our home in the north approximately ten years ago (though in this case "north" is open to interpretation, as some would refer to it as the "Northern Sharon" or simply as part of the ever-expanding boundaries of the "center"), we have done our best to take advantage of our proximity to some of the more beautiful parts of the country (and this, of course, also being open to interpretation). While I enjoy a good walk, I've never been a big hiker. The husband, on the other hand, lives to hike, and consequently, we've spent a great deal of our marriage meandering along various trails around the country, trails with varying degrees of difficulty. Fortunately, Israel has a great deal to offer when it comes to communing with nature, whether you fancy a treacherous hike through the desert, a leisurely stroll through a forest or past a waterfall, a picnic in a nature reserve (watch those campfires, folks!), or an educational outing to any one of a great number of antiquities sites and ancient ruins.



We've spent a great deal of time in the wild lately, and I never cease to marvel at all this country has to offer. A few weeks ago it was Nazareth and the Basilica of the Annunciation with friends, and just this past weekend we managed to hit the ancient synagogue (with its very impressive mosaic floor) at Kibbutz Beit Alfa, the Belvoir (Kochav Hayarden) fortress (the photo above was taken there), and the water channels by Nachal Hakibbutzim (see the photo below). We also managed to hit a tremendous amount of traffic on the drive home, but that's simply par for the course when returning home late on fabulous Saturday afternoon.

The Basilica of the Annunciation took my breath away. One of my favorite things about living here is the accessibility to so much history, and the Basilica did not disappoint. Wandering through its intricately designed halls filled me with a great sense of awe. I gazed around the chapel and stood by the grotto, allowing myself to be taken in by the historical impact of my surroundings, feeling as I had felt many years earlier when I first visited various sites in Jerusalem's Old City, feeling the history come alive. I never grow tired of the seemingly endless sightseeing opportunities here, but few have struck me as the Basilica did.

And of course, what outing would be complete without food? Indeed, some of the best food I've eaten in Israel has been discovered far away from the culinary center of Tel Aviv. We recently had the distinct pleasure to eat at El Babor (click the link and then scroll up to the first restaurant listed under "North"), a restaurant in one of the Arab-Israeli towns lining Route 65. Just thinking about the lamb's neck stuffed with rice and pine nuts makes me drool with longing, and I'm not even a big fan of meat! Unusual salads and professional service have put El Babor on our permanent radar, and we will undoubtedly look for reasons to return.

The north is filled with excellent restaurants that are well-worth the detour off the beaten path, but should you wish to bring your own, there's certainly no shortage of picnic and barbecue sites, many of which also have large, well-designed play areas. I've lost track of the number of times when we've stumbled upon one of these spots during our travels, caught totally unprepared (in other words, not having had the forethought to actually pack and bring food), and added the location to our growing mental list of spots to return to with food and friends. And, in typical Israeli style, if you stay long enough, the inevitable four-wheeled Israeli phenomenon affectionately known as the "gazlan" will roll up, proffering a splendidly fattening selection of ice cream. The kids are happy and everyone is sated. Now if only someone would come around with the mobile cappuccino maker, life would indeed be complete...

Observations...

...from a unisex company washroom.

It is better to have picked up the toilet seat and left it up, than never to have picked it up at all.

This day in history...

Free Sample Personal Astrology Profile for Liza

Birth Date and Time..... June 5, 1968 12:01 PM
Birth Location............. Brooklyn, New York
Sun Sign.................... Gemini

"Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To Others - Modest, unobtrusive, and often rather quiet or shy, you are a person who is content to be in the background or to serve as an assistant, in the supporting role rather than in the lead. You are quite humble in your own assessment of yourself and you have a very strong perfectionistic attitude, with a tendency to be overly self-critical. No matter how well you do something, you always see the flaws in it and how it could be improved. Often you will simply refuse to attempt something because you feel you cannot meet your own high standards."

So, do you think it's accurate?

Apparently, I've got the same birthday as Draco Malfoy. Lovely.

This day in history...

Restaurants...

TAFKA PP sent me this meme, which is much lighter than the previous one. It may, however, prove to be equally challenging, given that she's tagged me to name restaurants in the north of Israel, and frankly, most of the restaurants that we go to are more centrally located. So, I may have to cheat a bit (as did she, might I point out!). Here we go!

The rules:
1. Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the city/state and country you’re in.

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
Lotus (Toronto, Canada)
tanabata (Saitama, Japan)
Andi (Dallas [ish], Texas, United States)
Todd (Louisville, Kentucky, United States)
miss kendra (los angeles, california, u.s.a)
Jiggs Casey (Berkeley, CA, USA! USA! USA!)
Tits McGee (New England, USA)
Kat (Ontario, Canada)
Cheezy (London, England)
tafka PP (Jerusalem, Israel)
Liza ("Northern" Israel)

2. List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location.

1. If I'm going close-to-home local, our default restaurant of choice is Jacko's Fish and Seafood, located in the Caesarea Industrial Zone. Their seafood risotto is absolutely fabulous, and they do a grilled filet of bass that makes my mouth water just thinking about it. The service is always excellent, attire is anything from casual to dressy (by Israeli standards), and they're very family-friendly. The Little One is adept at ordering chocolate truffles ("I want da choclit trupples, Mommy") for dessert.
   
2. Another favorite resto of ours in the area closed a couple of years ago, but we remember it so fondly that I'm including it here. Bistro Pica was an intimate French restaurant with consistently high-quality food and wonderful, personal service. No matter what we ordered, whether it be the duck, the seafood cassoulet, the salmon in saffron sauce, etc. Should I go on? The owner was a charming, well-traveled woman, with whom we still maintain contact. We took friends there, we brought my parents there. Birthdays and anniversaries were celebrated there. The owner recently let my husband know that she's embarking on a new culinary project, and we anxiously await the news that she's open for business.
   
3. If we expand our geographic boundaries to include Tel Aviv, I have to say that my favorite restaurant is definitely Onami, which is, of course, Japanese. There's one friend in particular who I really enjoying going with, and when our husbands join, they just sit there in awe as we continue to order more and more sushi, whether it be the salmon nigiri, pumpkin maki, salmon skin maki, etc. Their agadashi tofu is the best I've ever tasted, and their seaweed salad is certainly nothing to sneeze at either. We've even seen Japanese people eating there, which must be a good sign, right? Decor is funky trendy, and you can grab a table or sit at the bar and watch the sushi men work their magic right in front of your eyes. When you walk in, you're greeted with a rousing "irasshaimase", which means "please come in", by the sushi men. I've got their number in my cell phone for emergencies...
   
4. I love Tandoori. We go to the branch in Herzliya, and their food is out of this world. Service is always impeccable, and Reena Pushkarna has got to be one of the most charming hostesses ever. If you love Indian food and can't get to TAFKA PP's suggestion in Ramle, this is the place, with branches around the country, including a Kosher branch in Jerusalem. They're also family-friendly, giving gift packs to small children as they leave the restaurant.
   
5. Eema Adama is my fifth choice. They're located near my office and make the most incredible salads ever. You select your own ingredients (with a selection ranging from the usual lettuce, tomato and cucumber, to broccoli, to two different kinds of tofu, two different kinds of chicken, an assortment of grains such as bulgur, lentils and quinoa, granola, pineapple, cheeses, anti-pasti, etc), and they create your salad, topping it off with any one of a number of phenomenal dressings (I always take a combination of the cider and the balsamic dressings). Ingredients are added to huge bowls, and once your salad is complete, the servers toss the salad together with the dressing in the bowls using large spoons, ensuring that everything is well mixed before handing you your bowl. You can do takeaway, eat inside the resto, or sit in the hidden courtyard in the back. I've taken many people there, including our very own Stefanella, and everyone loves it. I feel very healthy whenever I eat there, and it's the perfect escape from the food served in the company dining room. Of course, I can't mention this restaurant without giving thanks to friend and periodic commenter Arik, who introduced me to Eema Adama (as well as a number of other restos in this area) in the first place. Thanks, buddy! I definitely owe you one!

Let's see, who to tag... Beth in Ireland, Jessica in Switzerland (whose food descriptions are so incredible that I sometimes feel I've gained weight just by reading her blog), NRG in Norway (do it in the comments section, please), and Dame, somewhere in the US, Lisa in Tel Aviv, and Stefanella, also in Tel Aviv.

Writing Meme

I've decided that today is a meme day. I've got two waiting for me in the pipeline, and today is the day.

For the first meme, the fabulously talented Jessica (check her out, folks – the woman is a brilliant writer) challenges me to describe my favorite kind of writing. Well, I know that it's definitely not technical writing... Seriously, though, it's a tough question. I love to write. I love to create perfect sentences, I love to watch my words flow and take on meaning. I am attracted to good writing and I seek out friendships with writers. The world of writers and writing turns me on, and it excites me to know that I have friends who are such gifted writers. Aside from wanting to be the first baseman for the New York Yankees, all I have ever really wanted to do is write, and I've been doing it for as long as I remember, even winning a few writing competitions sponsored by one of the local newspapers when I was growing up. That's me. A writer. Always. It's why I blog. It's why I've got constant inner turmoil as I try to figure out, at age 39 (almost), what I want to do with my life, what I want to be when I grow up.

To be honest, I'm not sure that I've got one genre that I favor above all others. I enjoy writing when I feel passionate about something, when specific incidents stir my emotions for either good or bad. I love to write about my son. I love to write in such a way that it affects others, makes them think. I love to write humorously, imagining the sounds of my friends' laughter as they read what I've written. I enjoy writing a good rant every now and then, anger and excitement working in my favor as words effortlessly spill all over the page, thoughts popping up faster than I can type. I love to write well. I derive immense pleasure from reading something I've written, knowing that I've managed to successfully convey whatever message I'd been trying to get across. I derive great pleasure from my writing, whether it be the act itself or the final product. I'm even pleased when I create well-written sentences for technical documentation, or when I've taken someone else's poorly content and turned it into clear, user-friendly text, even though I don't find a lot of joy in the overall creation of such documents.

What can I say? Writing, reading something well-written, and being around great writers all make my socks roll up and down. That's all there is to it, really. So, Jessica, I'm not sure how much this answers the meme, but it's what came out. Hope you like it!

For this meme, I tag TAFKA PP, Maryam and Tololy (who is having an extremely busy month, so I'll understand if she doesn't get to it right away, but I've tagged her anyway, because I think her answer will be very interesting. Whenever you get to it, my dear.).

Out out damn troll...

As you may have noticed, I've decided to turn the comment moderation back on. I've got a pesky, racist little troll commenting from Federal Way, Washington (or maybe it's just where the server is located) who clearly has nothing better to do with his or her time than to leave reams and reams of nasty little comments that I've spent far too much of my vacation time deleting.

For those of you who remember the last time I moderated comments, this is indeed the same little troll, the same one who accused me in the past of spreading ideological AIDS (really!) and suggested that I'm a traitor to my country, and that the Israeli government might want to consider having me locked up for my words, among other things.

So, Troll, sorry to rain on your parade (actually, I'm not), but your comments have no place on this blog. If I'm moderating, your comments will never be published. If I decide to stop moderating, your comments will always be deleted. You are not welcome here, so perhaps you should find yourself a new hobby, or at least find another blog on which to leave your pathetic commentary.

And now back to our regular programming...

You know you're in Florida when...

1. You see an alligator behind the house within an hour of your arrival.
2. Your hosts talk about hitting the early bird special for lobster night at one of the local restaurants.
3. You've seen three alligators behind the house within three days after your arrival, and are told that you might see more, because it's mating season.
4. Your Little One begins to say words in Spanish before he feels comfortable in English.
5. Your host strongly recommends not going past the last house at the end of the street, as just beyond the grass is the beginning of the lake, and alligators like to hang out there. To bring the point home, your host mentions how she once took a walk down to the end of the street, walked in the grass, looked down at the lake, and saw an alligator staring back at her.
6. The obituaries column in the local newspaper shows that no one is actually originally from here.
7. If you see an alligator by the local bank machine (in close proximity to a lake, lest you think they can be found wandering the city streets), you can call someone to come and take him away.
8. Taking a walk through the neighborhood involves looking both ways at golf cart crossings.
9. You learn how to say "alligator" in Spanish.
10. You feel like the youngest person wherever you go. By a lot. Especially when you find yourself having lunch in a restaurant before noon.
11. Streets downtown display signs with arrows, indicating evacuation routes in the event of a hurricane.

Three shirts have been added to the Official Clothing Count.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 meme and 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 blast off

Not that I am very tizzy-prone, but I'd have to say that today, I'm definitely leaning in that direction. The Little One and I are off to the US tonight for a three-week visit with Grandma and Grandpa, and I have stocked up on a variety of coloring and sticker books, play-doh (Delta Airlines, please forgive me in advance for the mess...), crayons, puzzles and books for our journey, which will take a hair-raising twenty hours or so door-to-door. We will have personal seat-back monitors, and with any luck, he'll sleep for at least half of the first 13-hour leg of the trip. If there's any additional luck to be had (not to mention complimentary alcoholic beverages, though I will pay if necessary), perhaps I'll even manage to get a decent amount of sleep as well. I'm still debating whether or not to take our stroller, mostly for use in the airports when the Little One will either be sleeping or will want to be picked up (which happens with increasing frequency these days), as well as for some of our longer days out during the visit. The disadvantage will raise its ugly head during those moments when he'll want to walk and then tries to run off while I'm saddled with the stroller and a knapsack. Your thoughts and advice are definitely welcome...

I'll try to blog during the trip, but I'm not sure how much time I'll have. 80s Music Video Sunday entries will be posted later in the day due to the time difference, but they will be posted.

**********

As I don't really have either the time or the energy for a "real" post, I'm going to hit you all with a meme. I've been tagged by The Armenian Odar, a Dutch expat living in – where else – Armenia. Check out her blog, folks, and get a chance to learn about life in a country that isn't on the radar for most.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Meme

Name five things you love in your new country:

1. The way that everyone lives life to the fullest.
2. The coffee (you can get great coffee virtually anywhere!).
3. The beautiful scenery, from snow and lush greenery in the north to desert landscapes in the south.
4. The complex quirkiness of the people!
5. The wide variety of foods that are available – everything from sushi to jachnun!

Name four things that you miss from your native country.

1. My family and friends.
2. Autumn foliage.
3. Trousers and jeans that come in "petite" sizes. Whenever I buy these items here (which is rare), I always have to get them fixed. How annoying is that? And it's not like I'm really short – I'm 5'2"/158 cm tall.
4. Shallow pleasantries and good manners. Call me pathetic, but I like it when salespeople tell me to have a nice day or ask how I'm doing today.

Name three things that annoy you a bit (or much) in your new country:

1. Israeli drivers suck big time! Being on the road here is like being in a war, and every other car an enemy that must be humbled and/or destroyed. It's gotten so bad lately that there's even an ad campaign where careless drivers are branded terrorists.
2. The lack of environmental awareness vis a vis garbage. Children are practically born knowing that picking wild flowers is a serious no-no, but no one will think twice if you toss your garbage around the unpicked wild flowers.
3. The government and the sorry state of the educational system. Need I say more?

Name two things that surprise you (or surprised you in the beginning) in your new country:

1. The lack of education regarding environmental awareness (see number 2 in the previous section). I don't understand how Israelis can be so enthralled with nature on the one hand, yet have no problems whatsoever about ruining it with garbage.
2. The extent to which people seem to think that rules don't apply to them, whether they be rules of the road, legal issues, etc. There's a big problem with sexual harassment here, and I'm constantly in awe of the fact that it is so prevalent at so many different levels in both civilian and military life.

Name one thing that you would miss terribly in your new country, if you had to leave it:

1. My friends.

Tagging:

Stefanella, who's always up for a good meme.

Beth, whose answers will inevitably entertaining.

Anglosaxy, since (a) these kinds of questions are right up his alley, and (b) I just like tagging him.

NRG, whose life has always run on a course parallel to mine (answer in the Comments Section, please).

Life Out East, who should have some interesting responses, given that he's moving back home shortly.

**************

Wish me luck on the journey tonight. God knows I'm gonna need it...

And they called it panda love...

Beth's story about her new neighbors made me laugh out loud this morning. If you ask me, though, it's probably better than living near the Chiang Mai Zoo in Thailand these days. I mean, seriously. Panda porn?

According to this article on the Sky News website,

"A panda bear is being shown porn films to ignite his passion and teach the right
way to romp."

Maybe they should show him the video made last year in the Euro Disney dressing rooms...