Driving me mad

"O Yeh!!" [ pumps arm in celebratory fashion ]

Don't you just love it when the cops pull over those drivers who moments ago were ripping past you on the hard shoulder of the Ayalon (freeway)? OK, so you might have uttered the odd expletive (in my case, it was "Fucker!" and "Manyak!" (which sounds suspiciously like 'maniac' but packs so much more punch in Hebrew)) as he/she roared past and you were still wondering whether it might have been wiser to walk to work, but, as they say, what goes around.

It's those precious few seconds when I get this hankering to be a policeman. Uh-huh, one of the boys in blue, a copper, the filth, part of the fuzz, a pig. I have this secret fantasy where I pull out my flashing blue light, fix it to my roof and sound the "woooooo" of my siren. This would of course happen immediately after being overtaken on the inside lane, sliced almost in two at any intersection, blocked by a fucker who has yet to use his indicator this year, etc, etc. The list is endless. Countless opportunities to practise my "Who loves ya baby" line.

Oh, by the way, this is He writing, just in case you were wondering. There'll be a bit more bitching about driving in this country because it's something that drives us all mad, especially us Anglos. Please raise your hand if you're an Anglo and driving doesn't bother you. Yeh, exactly.