Prayers for a family

Not too long ago, I wrote this post, asking for prayers for a very sick little boy. Sadly, he lost his struggle yesterday afternoon. It is simply incomprehensible to fathom the pain of losing a child, and only a parent who has already been there can understand the sheer magnitude of the hurt. Losing a child who has been ill often provokes mixed feelings. I can remember when we lost our first child, how my pain was mixed with relief. Relief at knowing my child had been released from his pain, relief at knowing that we would no longer be spending all of our time in a hospital feeling helpless, living in limbo and waiting for something to happen. The pain, however, was intense. I felt that I would never smile again, never laugh again. I would wander around, and it seemed almost surreal to watch people going about their daily lives, seemingly without a care in the world, at a time when my world had been blown to pieces.

And yet, I knew that I would somehow pull myself out of this deep, deep hole, that I would – and indeed must – continue to live, continue to go on. And I have. From the depths of my pain, I decided that I had to move forward, and that it would be harder to surrender to the pain than to somehow pull myself out of it. The pain is and always will be a part of me, but it does not control me. Hopefully, with great amounts of love, friendship and support, this little boy's family will find happiness again, will learn to smile again. Hopefully, they will eventually learn to take control of their loss and find meaning in what they have gone through, seeking out the goodness and focusing on the special times. For now, they must somehow find a way to get through the day. Through today and tomorrow, through next week and next month. They have entered the second phase of this most painful of all journeys, and all we can do is wish them strength to get through it all. Keep them in your hearts and keep them in your heads, and don't forget to hug your own children, for one never knows what tomorrow can bring.